Desdemona

I met this lovely little baby the other day - little chubby cheeks and big blue eyes who almost smiled at the crazy lady in the big sunglasses.

I asked her name and her father (she was with father and grandparents) said, "Desdemona."

Me: "Ah, someone must be a Shakespeare fan."

Grandmother, proudly: "Her mother and father are English majors."

Me: "That was a dream of mine. But, alas (and yes, I said "alas") I'm a nurse."

Grandmother: "That's a very important job..."

Me: "Well, yes but...."

I said good-bye to Desdemona and walked out of the restaurant. I'd wanted to warn Desdemona about men named Othello but I was already was thinking about the next day and arranging what I had to do.

Alone...still...

I really don't mind living alone or not having a significant other - for most of the time.
In fact it's nice not to have to answer to anyone else. But there are times....

Today I sat alone in an Indian restaurant - alone because I'm 300 miles away from home. I love Indian food but I never go to a local Indian restaurant. I can go out to movies alone - it's dark. Sitting in a restaurant alone, as a single woman, is still a bit intimidating for me. Some feminist, huh? When I travel for work, no problem; especially when I ask for the receipt - oh, a business woman on a trip - that explains it, I imagine the wait staff thinking. Why I care about what the wait staff think - well, I guess that's another shrink session.

And speaking of the shrink: She told me I need to look for a group of single, middle-aged women to spend time with. Ohhhh-kay. Match.com? Craig's List? Calling all lonely middle-aged women. I did look for a book club - but many are during the day: I can't do and the ones at night:I never know when I'll be on the road.

I will once again be going to the Wine Tasting party for my favorite no-kill animal shelter. The few single, close to middle-aged (as in 40's - not 60's) women I know don't have the extra bucks I do and can't afford to go. I hesitate to say, "I'll pay for it." Seems too much like buying friendship.

Maybe I need a Middle-aged Female Escort Service. Yeah and how would THAT look?

What will be left?

I had to move everything in my living room closet/storage room so the maintenance department could get to the floor hatch that leads to my crawl space.

In the back I pulled out a large plastic storage bin, a cardboard box and a suitcase. The bin and the suitcase were marked "Mom and Dad". The cardboard box was labeled" "Pop's Army things."

Two lives distilled down to three storage boxes.

It made me wonder what I would leave - books, ones I've read, ones I've written?
Or would I leave good memories - memories in the hearts of people I've touched.

Only time will tell.

When I think I want a man in my life...

...I look at this:

Long Week

It was supposed to be a short week with the Labor Day Holiday on Monday. But it goes down as one of the longest weeks of the year..
I was in the office early Tuesday to write out changes in employee category definitions that several of us had agreed to before Thursday's union negotiations. Then a long morning meeting reviewing all of that - and more. Finally by 1 PM I was on the road driving to the Pittsburgh area.
Wednesday was a day of more meetings and interviews for a soon to be vacant Regional Nurse position.
Thursday Union negotiations and issues that I won't discuss here other than to say that said issues drove me to CareerBuilder.com that night.
Friday more interviews and then a long drive home on Rt. 80 in a downpour.
I had back pain and leg spasms.
Then there was the "noise" under the floor that greeted me when I got home (Rich, taking care of the cats, had warned me) and a Friday evening call to the maintenance man on duty - leaking pipe. Acck!
Saturday - back still crappy and I decided to forgo my writers group meeting to take my time dragging all the stuff out of my living room closet/storage area. That's how they'll get to the pipe - through the crawl space entrance in the floor of the closet.
I've been living on Tylenol and Lidocaine patches.
The only bright spot being Lakeside's PowWow this afternoon.

And tomorrow I get to start it ALL over again.

Pain, Exhaustion and Other Issues

Pain: Back has been a b--ch this week and I'm downing extra-strength Tylenol like they were TicTacs. Hello, Liver Disease? But the pain always flares up when I drive across the state.

Exhaustion: At 62 I worry about how much longer I can do 10 hour days, sometimes with a couple or more hours of driving.

Other Issues: Can't mention. Well, actually I did mention them and the post was up for a few days, but decided in my own best interest to take it down- need the job, need the health insurance.

September 11, 2009

Eight years ago I was at Whitecliff for their mock survey.
Tomorrow I will once again be at Whitecliff - to interview nurses for an open Regional Nurse position.

Just wish I were home.
I wanted to be home eight years ago.
I still want to be home.

Animal Abuse

I've been listening to Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child's latest: Cemetery Dance. I've read or listened to almost all of their Pendergast books. I was enjoying this one until a very real description of animal abuse and animal sacrifice for a dark form of Voo Doo was read.

It's a comment to Preston/Child's writing skills and the narrator's reading skills that I had to immediately skip to the next track on the CD. I pulled into the Giant parking lot and sat for a few minutes, my stomach roiling. As I got out of the car, I said (out loud), "Guess I won't be eating anymore pepperoni or turkey." A woman putting groceries in her trunk looked at me oddly. No wonder. She had no idea what triggered me to say that - to put aside the only two meats that I've been eating regulary (and yes, I know pepperoni is not a "meat"). I'm even rethinking seafood. I went to get eggs and reached for "free range". I've been steering away from chicken for years and I can't remember the last time I ate beef.

And it's not just the animals we eat.

I look into the eyes of my big tuxedo cat, Murray and see absolute unconditional love. All he needs is a comfortable place to nap, a clean litter box and decent food. How could any one hurt our faithful animal companions?

I wrote a few weeks ago that "Michael Vick is still Sick" - I still believe it.
I don't think everyone should automatically become vegetarians (I will never give up cheese, so keep those "happy cows" happy) but we need to appreciate the other living creatures on this planet.
One of these days we will find that animals are sentient beings - we are close to understanding our fellow primates in this respect.

I will continue to work at being a vegetarian and donate to animals rights groups.