And the most hypocritic state is........

Click on the link (title of this blog) and you will read that Utah takes the prize.

This story is about an anonymous review of card card use involving porn sites. Yep, someone did a study. Overall, it was determined that the aptly nicknamed "red" states' (as in embarrassed blush) citizens go to porn websites more often than the citizens living in "blue" states (ugh! those elitist liberals!).

So what does this tell us?

Even people who profess love for family, God, country and guns are...well...are human.

And those elitist liberals? They're probably too busy reading Vanity Fair or The New York Times. To paraphrase: "No sex please, we're Democrats..."

Just remember that this post was written by a woman who just submitted an erotic novella to an e-publisher. Take it all for what it's worth - not all that much, really.

Trying Too Hard?

Living on borrowed time...
I'm no longer middle-aged. There aren't too many 122 year olds walking around (or wheeling around) out there. I use my senior discounts. I am on the downhill side of the mountain.

And so I'm working harder than ever on my writing.
1. I'm sending a short story to Woman's World
2. I sent Elizabeth Peacock and the Body on Abbey Road to an agent who requested a partial
3. I sent an erotic novella to an editor who requested a full
4. I'm writing two different short stories for two different contests with the hope of being in two different anthologies
5. I registered to go to RWA National - a 2000+ member/author conclave in July. Ah...Washington, D.C. in July
6. I'm going to Deadly Ink conference in June
7. I'm going to the Writer's Digest conference at Book Expo America in NYC May and will stand in line for 10 minutes of an agent's time. I've done this before - speed dating for agents - note to self: go to the bathroom first and maybe you can stand in Donald Maass's line for longer than 30 seconds.
8.I'm going to Mystery Writers of America symposium in NYC in April
9. I'm going to PLRW's workshop and GLVWG's conference in March. I have an agent appointment at GVWG to pitch my memoir.
10. Oh, yeah - I'm writing a memoir.

And I work full time and travel for my job - driving myself across the state.

Do I want to get published?
What the hell do YOU think?

No Words Needed

"You kids, get OFF my lawn!"....

....or why "old" people are grumpy.

Speaking for myself, I sometimes resent not having some of the "abilities" I see younger people have today.

1. I wish there had been a pension/401K when I started working 40+ years ago. I was a nurse; I guess I didn't need one.

2. I would have loved to have a family medical leave to use when my daughter was born. I could have saved up sick time and vacation and stayed home with her longer. As it was, she was born in December, I went back to work every weekend in February and then full time in March.

3. Again with the Family Medical Leave - maybe I could have used my own sick days to cover the times I stayed home with Heather who would seizure with a high temperature. I couldn't and I was disciplined for excess absenteeism the year she had infected ears almost monthly. In fact the assistant director of nursing for the hospital told me to "leave her with a neighbor" so I could go to work. The conumdrum for nurses still is: why should I leave MY sick family member to go take care of someone else's sick family member.

4. I would have loved to have my nursing school classes continue to be credited towards a college degree - as most are now. I went to school for three years with only 2 weeks off a year - but those credits were only good for so many years. And I had no money to go back to school - not at the grand salary of 4000/yr - gross.

I think as we get older we see how society has progressed and we (us oldies) may sometimes feel left out or that we had to somehow "work harder" for what we accomplished - if we feel we've accomplished anything.

So that's why the Grumpy Old Man may be yelling at the kids on his lawn - maybe he's forgotten that he had more than just someone's lawn to play on. Maybe he's forgotten that his playing fields are now paved and covered with foreclosed homes and empty businesses.

Maybe Grump Old People should just get out the lawn chair and lemonade and watch the kids play on their lawns - or even join in.

Maybe one day the kids will stop and listen to the stories of "the olden days" - or maybe not - but at least they'll be in the sunshine and not inside in the gloom of memories.

Romancing the Laptop

image: kathleen-turner.com

I worked yesterday - worked hard on my writing.
Remember the first scene of "Romancing the Stone" when Joan Wilder (Kathleen Turner) has just finished her manuscript and is feeling so emotional she's crying. And there are no tissues and no toilet paper to sop up her tears. If I remember correctly, she uses the sleeve of an over-sized shirt. She was finished and happy....

That's how I felt yesterday - but with toilet paper.

I worked hard and felt happy. I always feel good after I've written something that I think is passable - not great - but maybe the beginning of good.

Then I read for a bit, watched Sherlock Holmes (the one with Jeremy Brent), read some more and collapsed into bed feeling pretty good about my day.

Except for one thing:
A need to get a mystery short story moving a long. So I told myself, "Think about the story. Dream about the story..." before I fell asleep.

Not a bad practice; however, I was up at 3:30 AM, writing the damn story because I could not get it out of my head.

Now it's 6 AM. I have some fairly decent words on a couple of pages. I feel great! Not in tears like Joan Wilder, but great. I feel like I have the start of something interesting.

The only problem is: I gotta go to work.
SIGH

There will be no Michael Douglas waiting to take me on an adventure. But I will have my short story waiting for me when I get home. And that's an adventure in itself.

What to do first...

A day of writing and reading.

Things I've completed this morning:
1. "Killer Heat" by Linda Fairstein - love her New York-based mysteries
2. Rewrote a synopsis and sent an partial into a contest

Things I need to do:
1. Register for Deadly Ink
2. Register for RWA National
3. Work on a supernatural mystery story for MWA
4. Work on my memoir
5. Think of a short story for Deadly Ink's contest.

Valentine's Day Sucks!

Well, that's how I feel right now.

The only males routinely in my life:
1. Two cats
2. My Bro-in-law
3. My Boss
4. My ex (as in husband)
5. Stephen King

Numbers 2-5 change orders but Number 1 is constant.

Seven Weird Things About Me

http://chriscaseystalesofterror.blogspot.com/

My friend Chris "tagged" me with "Seven Weird Things About Me". SIGH....

Okay, my friend, you asked for it:

7. I love, love, love Stephen King and would chase him if he wasn't married. I know - skinny, weird guy - seems to be what I've been attracted to lately.

6. I would rather read an afternoon away (after writing the morning away).

5. I love, love, love being alone - most of the time. (see #6)

4. My very best friend in the world is my daughter - maybe that's not so weird, after all.

3. When I was in middle school, I voted for Nixon in a mock election. I will never live that down.

2. My religious beliefs: I walk with one foot on the green path (pagan) and one on the red path (Native American). Maybe that's not so weird, either. I do believe in a supreme force, being, God, Goddess, just not organized religion. I believe that Nature should guide us- and if She did, we wouldn't be in half the mess we're in now.

1. I could live in a cabin in the woods surrounded by trees and animals. My daughter calls me "Snow White, the later years." I would, however, forgo the dwarfs.

And just for fun, I'll give you another one:
Mitzi, who still reads the classics, loves plays, adores EA Poe and all the Brontes...
Mitzi, who watches Masterpiece Theater and goes to the Shakespeare Festival (if she likes the play - please bring back Macbeth!)...
That Mitzi loves "One Live to Live" - a soap! I record it everyday. Before VCRs, etc as a visiting nurse, I would take my lunch time at home while it was on. I guess it comes from working 3-11 and watching Victoria Lord (all of her personalities) and the rest of the denizens of the Pennsylvania town of Llandview before I went to work.
And if I were thirty years younger and sixty pounds lighter I would stalk Michael Easton ("John McBain").

And that's enough weirdness.

Scary Times

I've GOT to stop watching CNN and reading CNN/money.com.
I was even on the CNN/money gallery last week. It's seems I'd answered the question, "What would you do with an extra $500?", so well they wanted to use my answer and...gasp...my picture. I, stupidly, agreed. My answer was something like: I would give 100 to an animal shelter, 100 to my daughter and save the rest.

I gave the $100 to the animal shelter last week anyway - without the $500 stimulus money. I figured their species didn't get us into this mess...

But still it's scary out there.

Everyone tells me that, as a nurse, I'll "always have a job." Maybe, maybe not. It's not that I don't feel fairly secure in the job I have, but you never know what's going to happen. Things can change quickly. Physically, I could never go back to bedside nursing and most administrative positions require a BSN or even an MSN. Long ago I decided not to pursue an advanced degree, I wanted to use my time for other interests - not as if nursing had ever been my first choice.

But in this economic climate, it seems to have been a good one. If I went back to bedside nursing, it would have to be part time - I would need a day in between shifts to physically recuperate. So even then, I may or may not earn enough to support myself or work enough hours for health insurance.

Scary.

And what makes it even scarier, no one has my back. My daughter would try, I know. But I wouldn't want her to deny herself for me. There's really no one who would help me out in an economic crisis.

I am in the group of citizens that is becoming a large part of those living below the poverty line:
older, single females.

Scary.

Maybe that's why I hoard change.
Maybe that's why I'm using every senior discount I can and clipping coupons.
Maybe that's why I'm putting money into a 401K and a savings account each pay.
There's no one to catch me IF I should fall.

Scary.

And yet I gave $100 to an animal shelter.
I believe, above all else, that what you send out to the Universe will return to you.

So maybe there will be a soft place for me to fall....
Maybe it's not that scary, after all.