Hey, Paulie! I'm available....

Dear Paul,

I am really sorry about your break-up with Heather Mills. I really, really am.
But, Paul, dear boy: A sixty-something man (even if you are Paul McCartney) and a thirty-something woman? I hear that even Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones are having their problems.

Maybe, just maybe, what you need is an older woman (at least older than Heather). Someone who has grown-up with you and who understands the world before 1975. Someone who is intelligent, outgoing, and has a good heart. Someone who loves animals and wouldn't mind mucking out stalls. Someone like...well...like me.

I'm not blonde, svelte, and I'm dead-on middle-aged chubby. But I would take care of you in our old age. Heck! If I was ready to take care of Mark Stoner, I would certainly be ready to take care of you.

Oh, well - it was a try.

Seriously, Paul - wishing you the best and hope you do find love and companionship.

You fan forever,
Mitzi