Friday, October 28, 2005


I feel like hunching over and running around the neighborhood yelling, "Sanctuary!"

Actually it's more like "Stability!"
"Give me Stability!"

Geesh - I'm freakin' 58 years old - I should NOT have to think about starting over.

And I have to admit that I'm scared - just a little. Everyone (who are in fairly stable situations) say "You have nothing to worry about. You'll be fine. You're a nurse. You'll find another job. You can do it. You've done it before."

Ah, yeah - I have. So why do I have to go through it all over again? Especially now -especially when I need a sense of the familiar around me as I age.

Wish I had that soft place to fall that I wrote about last year.
Wish I had someone to say, "Don't worry about anything. I'll take care of you for as long as you need."

But that's not my reality.
I have a good support system of family and friends but I know there's only one person that I can really depend upon for all the necessities - only one person. . . .
The old wrinkled crone who stares at me in the mirror every morning.
Only I can give her sanctuary.


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