Changes

"There's something happening here. What it is ain't exactly clear . . ." Buffalo Springfield

The World:
I know I'm a bit "different", but I can't be the only one that feels the change in nature. I can't be the only one that doesn't believe that these strong hurricanes, one after the other, are just part of a "cycle." Even the morning light is different - and I should know, I go out every morning to great the new day. I can feel subtle changes. Maybe I can feel them because I am a bit "different."

Professional life:
Most of middle management where I work met with "financial people" this week. We've been told that the company is going for refinancing. I don't believe it and it's been verified by people outside the company - there will be a change. Do I want to work for someone else - after 17 years in this company? Who will hire a 58 year old nurse without a degree and who can no longer "pound the pavement"?

Personal life:
Gentlemen from my past keep showing up. Rich - understandable -I helped him after his surgery. Hugh - he searched for me - I guess he's renewing old friendships. Mark - IM'ed me one morning and my heart flipped when I saw his screen name. So one year hasn't changed my feelings for him.

I am finding that I am missing a place I only visited once - Washington State - or maybe it's my daughter I miss. Washington equals Heather. Washington equals quiet, clean streets and flowers. Washington equals nature. But I also miss Cornwall - want to return, to live there.

And there's my physical yearning - sometimes an ache deep in my chest - for all things in nature. A need to be near trees and animals.

It can't be just me that feels this upheaval - personally and globaly. There's a change in the atmosphere - at least I can feel it - maybe because I'm different.

"You gotta stop! Say! What's that sound? Everybody look what's going down."