Saturday, September 24, 2005


"There's something happening here. What it is ain't exactly clear . . ." Buffalo Springfield

The World:
I know I'm a bit "different", but I can't be the only one that feels the change in nature. I can't be the only one that doesn't believe that these strong hurricanes, one after the other, are just part of a "cycle." Even the morning light is different - and I should know, I go out every morning to great the new day. I can feel subtle changes. Maybe I can feel them because I am a bit "different."

Professional life:
Most of middle management where I work met with "financial people" this week. We've been told that the company is going for refinancing. I don't believe it and it's been verified by people outside the company - there will be a change. Do I want to work for someone else - after 17 years in this company? Who will hire a 58 year old nurse without a degree and who can no longer "pound the pavement"?

Personal life:
Gentlemen from my past keep showing up. Rich - understandable -I helped him after his surgery. Hugh - he searched for me - I guess he's renewing old friendships. Mark - IM'ed me one morning and my heart flipped when I saw his screen name. So one year hasn't changed my feelings for him.

I am finding that I am missing a place I only visited once - Washington State - or maybe it's my daughter I miss. Washington equals Heather. Washington equals quiet, clean streets and flowers. Washington equals nature. But I also miss Cornwall - want to return, to live there.

And there's my physical yearning - sometimes an ache deep in my chest - for all things in nature. A need to be near trees and animals.

It can't be just me that feels this upheaval - personally and globaly. There's a change in the atmosphere - at least I can feel it - maybe because I'm different.

"You gotta stop! Say! What's that sound? Everybody look what's going down."


Blogger hugh said...

Hmm, I wonder if such changes in nature are not all that different than has occurred before. Surely before the dawn of CNN or even CBS, had not there been un-named hurricanes of greater intensity? I recall reading Isaac’s Storm which interestingly discussed the hurricane which destroyed Galveston back at the turn of the century. 8000 lives were lost. Were not the chicken littles of the world foretelling doom also? Yes, Mitz, I agree with you to some extent. I am one who feels the change in nature, it is called fall. If the series of hurricans are part of a "cycle", then we will cycle on back to where we were before.
For your professional life, do you really believe you are in so much jeopardy? You are still you, with all of the intelligence, all of ability, all of the God given talent you have always had. You keep wanting to press this age thing as if it were millstone hung around your neck before lowering you into a well. Free yourself of your fetters and be the Mitz you have always been…strong, determined, and free.
Or are you living out the rest of the Buffalo Springfield song:
Paranoia strikes deep
Into your life it will creep
It starts when you're always afraid
Step out of line, the man come and take you away

Yes, I have shown up again. Does it bother you that I have? And yes, I have searched for you just as I have used this Internet media to find others of whom I cared about in my life. Why do you think re-unions are so important to people? I care not how much weight we may have gained or lost, how much hair has gone from heads or teeth from mouths. It is that spirit of caring about and for each other that is important. For a few years in our younger days we shared a common experience and from that point we have become who we are today. In some small measure, both of us has influenced the other to some greater or lesser degree. Nonetheless, we are the product of others we have met along the way. Doubt that? Hmmm, think about it.

2:17 PM  

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