Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Alone Again . . .Naturally

I must be hung up on song titles today. Song titles and Seinfeld episodes - the chronicles of today's culture.

Alone again - naturally. This is not a complaint - but an observation. This is not a bad thing. The longer I remain unattached, the more I like it. I may have even used that title in an earlier blog.

Is it blasphemy to say that I enjoy being alone? I enjoy, relish, cherish time alone - to read, to meditate, to pet the cats, to write, to nap. I even love traveling alone. I enjoy planning a day trip on my own - going somewhere new - without worrying if another is happy, content, having a good time.

Sometimes I wonder why I'm not more . . .well, more lonely. Is it the old cliche of faking it until you make it? Did I fake enjoyment of the single life for so long, that now it is my life - a good life, a rich and full life? When did being alone - being a single person - become a liability? When did society decided that "oneness" equaled "badness"?

People who travel alone are asked to pay the "single rate" which is usually several hundred dollars more than other rates. As a single person dining alone in a restaurant, I've been passed over as the wait person heads to the couple, even though I was seated first. There is still the societal discrimination: if you're not married or living with someone, there must be something wrong with you.

But is there something wrong if the person can say that they are truly happy and content?
I don't think so.

I'm entering a new phase of my life that, in many respects, seems to mirror my adolescence. I am relearning who I am, who I can be and who I want to be.

Right now I only have room in my life for me.


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