Early Morning
I should still be sleeping; I have a long drive ahead of me today. But it will be across I-80 through Pennsylvania - a beautiful part of the state at a beautiful part of the year. Stephanie Plum is accompanying me on this trip. Not just Stephanie (no one ever calls her Steph; her mother calls her Steph-AN-ie) but Joe Morelli, Ranger, Lula and Grandma Mazar. I'll have full car but passing motorists will see only me.
I finally was able to capture the audiobook "Ten Big Ones" Monday at the library (now why wasn't it closed Monday for Columbus Day?) So I will have a great time listening to Stephanie's misadventures and soaking up Evanovich's way of characterization and plotting - her characters actually drive her plot - just ask Lula. No one tells her WHAT to do - not even her creator.
Listening to a book on tape while I drive is one of the perks of my job - well, maybe the only perk of my job. It will give me something to do while I drive the 350+ miles today. It will keep me from thinking about what could have been.
I won't lie and say I had never thought about living on the farm with Mark - I had even mentioned it to him. We even talked a little about it. I would have loved it - trees and meadows, his wildflowers, birds, the barn cats. But not to be.
Yesterday I thought about how nice it would have been to come home and find him there, sitting in his SUV, waiting for me, with a bouquet of his wildflowers.
And then I realized why I had been having these uneasy feelings about "us." No wildflowers. Every year he would pick bouquets of his wildflowers for me - not this year.
Not this year.
About a month ago, the Regional Administrator from the Lancaster area called me about offices at Audubon. When Mark and I had talked about living together, it would have been in Lancaster and I could have had an office at Audubon in Lititz. I laughed and told him, not to plan around any office for me right now - give them to the building's staff. I wasn't going to be needing an office there - not this year.
Not this year.
So I knew. I guess I've always been the type to want a clean break -physically.
Now I must work on the emotional part. I have to replace those mental images of me sitting in an office overlooking the Stoner barn, writing my little stories.
At least I still have my stories. Wherever I go and no matter who is with me on my journey, I will still have my stories - and the stories of other writers.
Time to wake up Grandma Mazar - we have a long trip ahead of us today.
I finally was able to capture the audiobook "Ten Big Ones" Monday at the library (now why wasn't it closed Monday for Columbus Day?) So I will have a great time listening to Stephanie's misadventures and soaking up Evanovich's way of characterization and plotting - her characters actually drive her plot - just ask Lula. No one tells her WHAT to do - not even her creator.
Listening to a book on tape while I drive is one of the perks of my job - well, maybe the only perk of my job. It will give me something to do while I drive the 350+ miles today. It will keep me from thinking about what could have been.
I won't lie and say I had never thought about living on the farm with Mark - I had even mentioned it to him. We even talked a little about it. I would have loved it - trees and meadows, his wildflowers, birds, the barn cats. But not to be.
Yesterday I thought about how nice it would have been to come home and find him there, sitting in his SUV, waiting for me, with a bouquet of his wildflowers.
And then I realized why I had been having these uneasy feelings about "us." No wildflowers. Every year he would pick bouquets of his wildflowers for me - not this year.
Not this year.
About a month ago, the Regional Administrator from the Lancaster area called me about offices at Audubon. When Mark and I had talked about living together, it would have been in Lancaster and I could have had an office at Audubon in Lititz. I laughed and told him, not to plan around any office for me right now - give them to the building's staff. I wasn't going to be needing an office there - not this year.
Not this year.
So I knew. I guess I've always been the type to want a clean break -physically.
Now I must work on the emotional part. I have to replace those mental images of me sitting in an office overlooking the Stoner barn, writing my little stories.
At least I still have my stories. Wherever I go and no matter who is with me on my journey, I will still have my stories - and the stories of other writers.
Time to wake up Grandma Mazar - we have a long trip ahead of us today.
posted by Mitzi at Wednesday, October 13, 2004
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