Thirty Years Ago Today...

When I first saw the Beatles on the Ed Sullivan Show in early 1964 I was not a very happy teenager. I was overweight and had lost one of my heroes to an assassin on November 22. I was not expecting all that much from the "Fab Four" but I was fascinated...and hooked. I loved the hair, the music, their attitude. I loved them. That evening watching a boy band from Liverpool went a long way to heal that teenager's broken heart.

Like millions of girls I had a crush on Paul but as I got older I found that I was more like John. John Lennon was the rebel I wish I could be. Nursing school in the late 1960s didn't allow for much individuality, but at least I had The Beatles. At least there was John.

And from nursing school, I started my life as an RN, married and had my daughter. My daughter was almost 10, her birthday would be on December 10, when John was murdered. I was 33. I was devastated. I'd lost another hero. Heather, a true 10 year old, was worried about her birthday party. Only a few people understood my loss. Only a few people still do.

As my daughter grew, she understood. She learned Photoshop and one Mother's Day she gave me this picture of me and my hero - of course, it never happened. But it had...in my heart.